bad… to worse

yesterday, tuesday, we went for our follow-up ultrasound. because last thursday the levels were reaching close to 9 for daisy, they wanted to monitor closer. Our appointment was for 8 am, and we had an appointment with the main OB- the head of the dept. at 10 am.

We brought The Kid to my in-laws monday night so they could bring her to the babysitter in the AM, since we would be long gone by then, and we were “supposed” to get a good nights sleep at home with her gone…. but my in-laws didn’t come home till midnight (they were on vacation) so we didnt actually get to bed till 12:30.

Anyhoooooo, things aren’t good. Daisy’s levels have jumped up to ELEVEN. ELEVEN! Sunshines seem to be holding steady at 2.9 or so. This has now become a “complicated” case (of course) because it is very unusual for the levels of one baby to go so high without the other baby’s dropping below 2. Officially, I am still considered “borderline” and there is not much to do but keep monitoring. Compounding the issue, which I suppose is good news, is that all other functions for both babies seem to be “within range”… the dopplers, heartbeats, bladders- all appear, overall, normal. Without any secondary issues, I am not even past stage 1, so they don’t do anything. This scares me because I feel like, at least if they do SOMETHING, they will have more control over the potential for stopping neurological disorders. Since they don’t know now how the “off” fluid levels are affecting the babies, we’re just in a no-mans land of “lets hope not at all”… this sucks.

I was put on modified bed rest. They don’t want me going to work anymore (surprised my boss does, considering that I spend half the day lying on the floor) but I am going in today to tie up loose ends, make copies of all my computer work and bring it home so I can get done here what I need to do.

We are going back on friday for another ultrasound. If at that point, the bladders are no longer showing normally (stage 2) they will consider surgery for the following week. Tuesday I have Another ultrasound (I try not to think about the people who clam the frequent ultrasounds are to blame for current high frequencies of autism) and a fetal echo to look at their hearts. Again, if anything shows sign of distress, they will likely prep me for laser surgery. Dr. said it’s a 50% chance I will have the surgery. At 21 weeks, there are only 5 more weeks until I am no longer a candidate. The farther along you are, the higher your risk for complications. In a way, I almost hope they see enough that they decide they should do it, but then, of course, feeling like that is a completely “wrong” way to feel what you should be hoping that everything will be “ok”.

I know this is unfair to say, but I didn’t ask for this… I’m not one of those people that prayed every time I went to the OB that they would say “congratulations! It’s twins!” and I’d be so excited and skip home to tell my¬† hubby. When they told us it was twins, we were both like “oh, no, you must be mistaken…. that’s not us…. we’re not those people”…. but now that I am here, in love with these babies and forced to go through this, I can’t help but feel a little …. annoyed? not sure that’s the right word… I do feel blessed, and I now can’t wait for my 2 healthy, beautiful baby girls to get here… just in the back of my mind, the part that stores away all the bad thoughts, I’m a little bit pissed.

Will keep you updated to Fridays ultrasound.

Thanks for reading.

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